Dear Randy…

By Aaron M Smith

Dear Randy,

It has taken me a couple of days to write this letter. My apologies for that, as the prospect of  playing golf in North Carolina for a week has dominated my thoughts. But I am excited to find out that  just as I am heading down that way,  so are you!! Wow, that is such a coincidence!!

Now, I hope you can detect sarcasm – because this letter reeks of it.  When you were sent to Oakland and things didn’t really workout there – well I got it. Al Davis and well…. Al Davis. Enough said.So you quit on Art Shell and the rest of the JV coaches they brought in. It got awful and well, football wasn’t fun. Dude, you are preaching to the choir!!

Well you must have done something right, because Bill Belichick suddenly saved you. Bill “freaking” Belichick. The guy traded a 4th round draft pick for you – Randy Moss, and saved you from purgatory.  I mean that is like going into Wegman’s and finding a Flank Steak special of buy one, get one free. It just doesn’t happen!! But here you were, heading to the New England Patriots.  A frenzied fan base, a team that was in the midst of a dynasty and Tom Brady!! C’mon admit it.. you thought you had found the Holy Grail, didn’t you? C’mon… admit it.

When you got to New England, I was skeptical. For most of my time, you were never on a team I liked – and well – you were pretty cool to admire from afar, but up close you had more luggage than a Southwest flight ( I am practicing for my trip..sorry that was shameful).  But like most Pats fans, I gave you a chance, and you delivered !! In 2007  you had 23 Tds, 1,493 receiving yards and it was a near perfect season. Hang on asecond..Hang on a second, I think I am going to be sick..Wait!! Wait… Phew okay. Watching Brady throw you was watching poetry in motion. It was like you two had been playing together for years. Even in 2008  when Tom Terrific went down on the 3rd play of the season, you stepped up and helped a young Matt Cassell fill in. Now you guys didn’t make the playoffs, but an 11-5 season is nothing to snicker at.

Fast forward and here we are in 2010. You didn’t have a new contract entering the season, and neither did Tom Brady.  Now  be honest with me – you didn’t expect Coach Belichick to sign you to an extension before Tom right? I mean really, you didn’t right? Dude, there is no Robin without Batman, and this Commissioner Gordon wasn’t signing Robin first. Now, you tried, and I know you couldn’t resist. You had to play poker with Belichick.  You had to play your hand, and see if he would fold.  Whatever happened to the offseason? Didn’t 3 years with the Patriot organization teach you anything? If Belichick thought his own son wasn’t cutting it, he would trade him in  heartbeat. The man is all about tomorrow and not about yesterday.

Well, you lost in that poker game, and Belichick sent you packing… back to Minnesota. Now, everyone thought the Pats were done and guess what – they haven’t lost since they traded you. You? Well, you didn’t want to leave did you? It’s cool to admit…since you aren’t in Minnesota anymore. By the way, insulting a restaurant’s food is not going to get you a Christmas card. Saying it wasn’t even something you would feed your dog? Ouch. By the way – what do you feed your dog? Latrell Sprewell wants to know…. Owwwww! Sorry that was cold on my part. But that salute to Bill Belichick and telling the Pats that you missed them? Now that was cold!!

Well, I gotta get going. Have to get things ready and I suppose you do too.. Enjoy Nashville – I am not sure you are going to like Nashville  food either.

Sincerely,

A New England Patriots fan

5 Responses to "Dear Randy…"

  1. bill ribas   November 5, 2010 at 9:08 am

    Actually, if Moss keeps getting traded around, he could ask Michael Vick what dogs like, since he has experience in that area.

    Has Randy just gone off the deep end? What actually is going on that he keeps bouncing around?

  2. Crossword Pete   November 5, 2010 at 11:40 am

    Randy Moss was BORN in the deep end. I still remember how proud I was of ND when they said no to Moss. It hurt that Holtz had even recruited him, but common sense prevailed at that time. I have NEVER liked Moss. He was a bum in HS and he continues his less-than-admirable ways today. Sorry to say Smitty, but sarcasm bounces off of ego maniacs. Nevertheless, nice method of recapping Moss’ idiocy.

  3. bill ribas   November 5, 2010 at 12:41 pm

    Interesting, Pete, I didn’t know he was a long time loon. That seems to put it all in perspective.

  4. Chas   November 5, 2010 at 1:00 pm

    I thought 2007 was a perfect season…well, a perfect ending at least. 🙂

  5. Crossword Pete   November 5, 2010 at 1:11 pm

    Bill he may be (physically) one of the best althlete’s of all time (all state in football and basketball in HS and a state champion in track if I am not mistaken), but since his days in HS he has consistently been it’s-all-about-me and consistently on the wrong side of the line between right and wrong. He is less flaming than many others, hence the perspective that this is a new Randy Moss, but rest assured, he’s been a lifer in the deep end.

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