Another Rant from the Couch
by Bill Ribas
In recent weeks, there has been a variety of stories about famous athletes, from the innocuous to the indecent. You have to wonder, is it the stress of being a high performance athlete that takes it toll on one’s life, or just sheer stupidity? Or is it our fault for making athletes greater than human in our own minds, and thus causing a fall from grace to be that much uglier. Superman or just an average Joe with a bit of ability; is the modern athlete that far above us, or just like us? What in the wide wide world of sports is going on? Let’s take a walk down media lane and see what the heck is going on.
Our first glimpse is perhaps the most disgusting. Former Giants’ linebacker Lawrence Taylor allegedly had sex with a 16 year old prostitute. Just that sentence alone should be enough to drive you crazy, because it is wrong for so many reasons. First off, what would drive a successful man like Taylor to stoop to such a level for gratification? Okay, I’ll give you that maybe there are too many gold diggers in the club scene, maybe he’s a shy guy and has trouble with girls, maybe a lot of things. Let’s put it this way, just to try to frame it a little better – if you’re an average Joe like me, closer say, to AARP membership than high school graduation, and in need of doing the nasty, would you troll your local high school for a sophomore, or hit up the ads in craigslist? Taylor allegedly paid $300 for his roll in the hay. Again, if you’re like me, and suddenly found $300 in disposable income, you’d be more inclined to spend $290 on beer and the change on a copy of Playboy (although, honestly, I’d spend it all on beer). The story takes a wicked curve with the latest news, in that Taylor paid the girl but did not have sex. Sheaaah, right. We all know this is not true, because he could have saved himself $300 bucks with an internet connection and a Google search for whatever. According to what I can find on the internets, Taylor is married to his 3rd wife, although my guess is she’s having a lot of lunches with attorneys, and Taylor may soon be flying solo. Was it a crumbling marriage that led to this? Who knows. Bottom line, guilty.
On the lighter side, a story hit the wires about Ken Griffey jr. falling asleep in the clubhouse during a game. According to the story, Griffey went back to the clubhouse to get a jacket around the 5th inning, and never came back. When a chance came for an at bat in the 7th, he was discovered counting sheep, confirmed by two Mariner players. Griffey reportedly said he has been having trouble at home. Griffey has 3 kids, and is in the twilight of his career, so when he says he’s having trouble sleeping, I have no trouble understanding that. He’s not hitting like he used to, and I bet you a boxload of Louisville Sluggers he’s been hearing about it at home, something like, “Don’t think you’re going to retire from baseball and just sit around the house. These kids don’t pay for themselves you know. And I’ve been cooped up for years while you’ve been all over the country. This is my time . . .” or something along those lines. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking the institution of marriage, but after you’ve been at it for a while, you understand, and can empathize with Griffey. He’s getting it at work, because the big bright star is fading. He’s getting it at home, because he’s not used to dealing with the wife and kids as much, but he will be soon. Imagine the panic and depression of contemplating the future and losing the past. So along comes a meaningless game early on in the season, and junior nods off, going to the only place he can to get away from it all, and gets bitten where the sun don’t shine. Bottom line, acquitted.
Finally we see Tiger Woods pull out of a tournament because of a pain in the neck. So many jokes spring to mind, we’ll just pass on that one. Yet Tiger has his own marital woes, and my guess is his house is going to be awfully empty soon. And it’s not only his wife acting like a Titleist at the business end of a 3 wood. Earlier this week his swing coach quit (and again, too many jokes available, so we’ll pass), leaving poor Tiger with what, his caddy (and didn’t he drive that into a tree Bam! Zing! Sorry, couldn’t help it.)? Yet is Tiger’s injury due to work or stress? Surely, when he came back after a grueling, what, 4 months absence, he wasn’t the same Tiger we all knew and loved. His game was off, and at first, everyone figured cobwebs, he’ll be back. Yet it seemed he was swearing like a dock worker more often, and then last weekend, he pulls out with a neck problem. Now spinal problems are nothing to laugh at (and as someone with a bad back, I should know, although the one commentator who said “dicks” instead of “discs” was a hoot), but I have to wonder, is the neck problem stress related? After the first few tournaments, I can guarantee Tiger got a frosty reception at home. Listen, marital problems, relationship issues, it’s tough enough as it is, and even tougher when you’re trying to salvage a relationship when someone has screwed up royally (or so I have been told). But imagine at the multi-million dollar level, how everything is magnified? I mean, I’ll serve my kids frozen chicken nuggets for dinner, and feel bad about it, but they don’t seem to mind, because they haven’t had foie gras washed down with a ’68 burgundy, steak au poivre, and a choice of desserts on a daily basis. At casa de Woods, suddenly daddy isn’t bringing home the bacon, and the thought of moving to a home with say, 10,000 square feet less, and suddenly there’s a bit of tension in the house. So Tiger is tense a lot more, probably grinding his teeth at night, getting angry at simple things, because he can’t get the release he was used to (ironic, eh?). It is, however, his bed that he made, and he’s going to have to sleep in it. There will be, though, more room to roll around soon. Bottom line, guilty, with an explanation.
So where does that leave us? Athletes are no different than us, they’re just bigger, faster, and perform better. Yet they are still human, and make stupid mistakes and choices like we all do (like buying shares of Prodigy – it should have gone big!). Yet we will keep putting them up on pedestals, and here and there they will fall off, just like Brian Cushing, the defensive rookie of the year, who swore he didn’t use drugs to enhance his performance, but his blood or urine couldn’t lie, and guess who is sitting out the first few games of next season? In short, there is no moral, no noble truth, outside of we’re all human, and capable of both brilliant and stupid things. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be looking for my $300 in disposable income.
Bill,
When you get the $300, I can help with the consumption. 🙂 Can we get something other than Canadian Club Soda? Hehe.
The LT story gets creepier by the minute. Now, the girl is saying there was no sex. I am a Giants fan. I loved the Big Blue defense in the 80s, but I always knew LT was a little crazy. He did waaaay too many things that showed he did not care about about his body. This is just another example. Someone please lock that guy up before he does anymore damage.
Grif? Haha. That is pretty amusing. C’mon like we didn’t all suspect that from time to time baseball players don’t duck in the clubhouse for a little shut eye.
Tiger? Do you think the guy should have taken off for the season?
Bill – another great article. Plenty of laughs!
Stella Artois works fine for me.
I knew LT was thuggish, had coke problems and all. I am always amazed by how sports figures are judged so quickly, and yet excused so quickly. Tiger is no role model for relationships, but the buzz when he was coming back was incredible. And now that he is having problems, everyone is like, see? told you. I don’t think I was clear enough in the article making the point, but I can’t help wondering why, just because you’re good at sports, you get such ridiculous ethical leeway. I mean, if I danced with a 16 year old hooker, I’d be writing this response via dialup from a seedy local hotel – my family and friends would justifiably desert me. LT is still dressing sharp, making up stuff, and most likely negotiating to payoff people. I guess I don’t get while I am slugging it out in the trenches, trying to mold two boys and stay above water, my fan club is nonexistent, while guys like LT are clubbing and living the high life, with a certain sense of impunity.
And yeah, I think Tiger should have taken off the season. He would have been better in the long run.But my guess is Tiger doesn’t understand women, and that’s pretty evident.
Stella! Stella!
Who am I? 🙂
You are …. thirsty?
hahaha
Bill, one again – great article!
I can’t help but wonder what part of this can be blamed on the media. Certainly their role has only added to the public’s thirst for this information.
I am in complete agreement that Tiger…probably should have taken the year off. Get your house in order (whether it is empty or not) and then concentrate on the game. Maybe he was worried about losing one more thing in his life? First – he has lost the trust and possibly love of his wife. His mother is disgusted. He has lost the trust and admiration of the public. Maybe he was worried about losing the claim of being the best golfer in the PGA? Who knows.
But where and who decided that I needed to know every move that Tiger made. He needed help and sought treatment – did we really need to see pictures of him in treatment? No, I blame the media minions that force feed us this garbage. Stores such as LT , Big Ben and Tiger will spend countless hours on the front page and as the lead story on Sportscenter. But what about guys like Myron Rolle? Someone who put his education first before his football career. Someone who was a Rhode Scholar and decided to attend Oxford for a year. That is great stuff!! So why did his story last about 30 seconds on the front page, but whether Big Ben has undergone anger management courses – is big news?
As for LT – I am sure he will get off. Unfortunately, I am extremely pessimistic about our justice system. His lawyer is doing his job – creating reasonable doubt. If this witness is credible, why didn’t the police bother to interview her? Why didn’t LT offer her up during the initial investigation?
Hmmm.. A nice cold beverage is starting to sound good right about now. I think I am checking the fridge.
Smitty,
I’m not sure the media is at fault here – it’s easy enough to say they go overboard in their attempt to get a story or information, but that reporting is for the most part, after the fact. I would say it is the athlete himself, or the persona of the athlete created by those around him that is the problem.
It’s definitely a complex issue – but take a look at the rise in importance in sports in high schools or middle schools. The emphasis on not just playing but on winning is ridiculous. Here’s an even better example – today at my kid’s little league game, I told the opposing coach that hey, two of our coaches are out, and we may be a bit disorganized. After the top of the first, he comes over to tell me that, you know, the kids can take a base on an overthrow and all. I’m thinking, dude, I just told you we are down on adult guidance, and these are 8 year old kids. But I only say you know, we’re down on coaches, so we really don’t have the instructional flexibility, and I just want the kids to have fun. He says, well, you know, they have to learn sometime, as if this freaking game matters.
There’s a differnce between teaching kids so they know how to play and have fun, and going all gung ho and cutthroat at an 8 year old level. I think continuing this mentality is what leads to athletes down the road making poor choices. When you place so much emphasis on sports, you lose out on other things. Think of a stage mom, putting her kid in beuaty pageants, or wanting her to be a model, it’s the same thing. But like I said, it’s a complex question, more for a scholarly article, I know, maybe we can all pool up $300 bucks for beer and all get together and discuss it.
Bill,
I agree. It is as much the athlete and their decisions,as it is the media.But where do athletes suddenly get to that point, where they feel like they are above the same laws us common folk live by? We put them up there. We worship them, we treat them like Gods – and suddenly they start to think they are.
The state of sports today is getting out of control. Didn’t an 8th grader just commit to play football with USC? Really? The kid doesn’t think that his mind might change in the next 4 years?
I remember being able to play sports at the age of 8 and having fun. Was there is instruction? Sure. But main point was to have fun and play hard. That doesn’t seem to be the case anymore.
I watched the 30 and 30 epsiode that was done on Joe Mauer. I didn’t realize just how good of an athlete he was. He was all-state in Football and basketball. In fact he turned down a full ride to be the QB for Florida State to play for the Twins. They asked his father why he let him play all 3. His response? Because he was a kid and he should enjoy high school. He was thankful he ultimately chose baseball, but he allowed Joe to make up his own mind. Refreshing.
I am all for the a meeting to discuss. Should we have the Commish set it up? Or maybe the President can have us over..
I think it’s just a matter of time as far as the athlete’s mental state. They are constantly told to do better, and when that payoff starts to trickle in, as in they can play the game in question, and start getting noticed, then it’s just a matter of time before no one can tell them no, This is not to say there aren’t level headed athletes, but too many think, maybe because of all their work, that they are due something, whether it’s good press, a free lunch, or whatever.
Maybe athletes should be required to perform community service or something, to balance out their lives. Oh sure, they can always fall back on that business or communications degree, but something has to be done to get their heads out of the clouds and remind them the game they play is just a game.
And I’m always good for a beer – I’ve been practicing long enough.
Smitty —
I think LT WAS trying to get off … that’s how this whole thing got started in the first place 😉