Who says late night walks are a waste of precious sleep time. When I was recently coerced by the eldest daughter into visiting a local all night eatery, I was awoken a couple of hours later with a gut ache to beat the band. I had no other choice but to walk it off. It was then that I met up with none other Mr. George Herman ‘Babe’ Ruth. Sure his appearance was nothing more than an apparition, but he was his usual gregarious self. Here is the transcript of our conversation:
Casey: Mr. Ruth I gotta say you look great.
Ruth: Casey please call me Babe. Yeah – this heaven thing is all it’s cracked up to be. When I left this earthly existence, Presto! I also left behind the throat cancer and everything else that was crawling around inside me.
Casey: Mr. Ruth did you say heaven?
Ruth: (chuckling) I know it’s hard to believe, but I am flying with the angels. And please call me Babe.
Casey: Oh right. Wow! If you can pull off heaven, I guess the rest of us should be all right?
Ruth: (continuing to laugh) It might not be that easy. See I had a few things working in my favor. When I got up to the pearly gates, there was Saint Pete waiting for me. He pulled out my ledger. I’m not gonna lie. As he perused the numbers, his brow furled a little in amazement. Seemed as if I had more than my fair share of Hail Marys said for me. Then it dawned on me – all the priests back in the orphanage said they would pray for me because I needed it. I didn’t take them seriously until St. Pete welcomed me in. So you see all those Novenas they are worth something.
Casey: That’s good to know. Would you mind answering a few questions?
Ruth: Shoot. I haven’t had an interview in about 65 years (smiles).
Casey: What do you think about the modern players using supplements and steroids and surpassing your numbers?
Ruth: Ah hogwash! They are players. They are competitors. Competitors are always looking for an advantage. You know you do a lot of preaching on that Clipboard of yours about the virtues of sports. Let me tell ya. The only virtue in sport is beating the next guy. You better come down off that soap box of yours before it becomes lather and you tumble off it.
Casey: Babe, wait. Did you say the Clipboard?
Ruth: Yeah.
Casey: You read the Clipboard?
Ruth: Of course I do. I am a sports fan aren’t I? I keep up with all the action going on down here. You guys got it working on that site. That guy Wally tells it like it is. He’s a straight shooter, and I love his Fightin’ Irish commentary. And Reynell with his On the Pitch work? I was never much of a fan of the ‘Beautiful Game’, but since OTP I find myself tuning in to 212 on a regular basis. Then there’s Smitty with his views on the world of sports. That guy is always good for a chuckle. Nice stuff with that Frozen Pond Diary too. I love reading about the prospects coming up through the system.
Casey: That’s great to know. Do you read any other stuff on a regular basis?
Ruth: Oh yeah. One thing we have plenty of in heaven is time. I love that guy Chas with his stuff on Left Field. It’s great how he mixes in the music commentary. I’m a Neil Young lover myself, so I dig his stuff. Of course I read Seamheads, Sox and Dawgs, Boston Sports Rants, and Sox and Pinstripes to name a few.
Casey: I never would have guessed. Since you brought up the Pinstripes – what do you think about the move into the new stadium?
Ruth: I guess it had to happen. It just doesn’t make sense. Did I miss something? When did all of these luxuries become a necessity at a baseball game? Too much about the event and not enough about the game. 21st century baseball is becoming a carnival with all of these gimmicks. Give me batting practice and some hard-nosed play, and that’s all a person should need. If they want a party, tell ‘em to go to the local 6 Flags or something.
Casey: I agree. What do you make of the ’08 Yanks?
Ruth: Ya know I could see it coming. When they won #26, the lineup included guys like Martinez, Brosius, and Williams – guys who put the team first. Since then the front office seems intent on grabbing headlines with their acquisitions. How much are they paying Rodriguez? And how many post-season RBI does he have? But that’s all right. I got faith in this Girardi kid. He’ll right the ship.
Casey: Funny you mention the acquisitions – how do you feel about Giambi being nicknamed the ‘Giambino’?
Ruth: I pay it no attention. I can’t be bothered with that horse ca-ca.
Casey: What do you think about this year’s league championships?
Ruth: I love how Torre’s having success in L.A.. Joe’s a good guy. He’s a baseball guy. He knows how to let his players play. I always liked a manager who gave us some freedom. Miller Huggins let us play. That’s why the ’27 team was so good.
Casey: Since you mentioned the ’27 team, I read an article recently where a writer claimed the ’39 team was better than your ’27 version. What do you think of that?
Ruth: Let them talk all they want. That ’39 team was good – don’t get me wrong . But they didn’t have Waite Hoyt. If we played them head-to-head – in a seven game series – Hoyt would go 4 times. The guy was that strong. And he was that much of a competitor. He just did not know fatigue. But back to this year – the Sox better be careful with the Rays. Tampa doesn’t know any better. Yeah Boston has experience working for them, but Tampa is young and foolish. They are gonna take chances because it doesn’t matter to them, and those chances will pay off.
Casey: There are some that suggest you and Manny Ramirez have something in common. That you both sandbagged, so you could get out of Boston.
Ruth: (chuckling) I wish I could be that smart. Sandbagged? I don’t know what advantage that would have given me. I’m not gonna lie Boston is a helluva sports town. Even back then there was a lotta pressure to win. But there was no advantage for me to leave. Besides, I loved New England Clam Chowda – that Manhattan stuff just doesn’t do it for me. Manny on the other hand? Manny had some motivation. If you don’t think that guy Boras had something to do with his behavior, you’re crazy. It’s just disappointing that a grown man would act like that. Doesn’t he realize he is nothing more than a puppet on a string?
Casey: Good point.
Ruth: Yeah, but that guy can hit. Did you see that poke at Wrigley? That pitch was a foot out of the strike zone. Listen I gotta run. I gotta date. But before I go – when am I gonna get a spot on the Who am I?
Casey: I’ll get ya in – just not much of a challenge? Everyone knows you.
Ruth: You’ll figure something out.
Casey: Did you say a date?
Ruth: I did mention I was in heaven – right?
Chas says
That was great, Casey. I didn’t want it to end…I really mean that. It was kind of WP Kinsella-esque, how you go for a late night walk and meet up with an apparition of a legendary ballplayer.
Great job giving a shout-out to all the key contributors to your site…and me, of course. Thank you, once again.
But, I didn’t know Rey wrote the “On the Pitch” series until now. Have to admit, growing up in a household where soccer was a dirty word, I never read it, until the latest one on the racism subject. Great piece, by the way, Rey.
My point is, you gotta give these guys their own logins, with their own bylines. I’m sure it can be done. Seamheads has wordpress set up that way. It would also solve your problem of Wally stealing your cheesy pics, too. 🙂
Casey says
Yeah – I know. There is a slight difference between the level of software that Seamheads has and what we have. I am looking to upgrade. Just trying to figure out what works best.
You have no idea what it means for you to compare me to Kinsella. My list of favorite authors: Twain, Fitzgerald, Halberstam, and Kinsella. 🙂
Thank you.
Muels says
Don’t you think that if The Babe stayed in Boston for a while longer he could have enjoyed hitting shots into the right field seats- so much so that it would be known as Ruth Pole instead of Pesky Pole?
Loved the idea of this- and the execution of it! It does bring back the playful banter of past and present from Field of Dreams. Thanks for that!
Interesting comparison between Ruth and Manny…both seemed be at their best on the field when they had a “child-like” sense about them (notice I did not say childish, as that was the bad side of Manny)…
Wally says
Great writing!
Ya know … it occurred to me a few weeks ago when they were replaying the history of Yankee Stadium … there’s ANOTHER reason why Ruth hit 714 HR’s … OTHER than the fact he was GREAT … that original Yankee Stadium before 70’s refurbishment was a phone booth with an extremely short porch in RF. Might also be why little known Roger Maris hit 61.
Rey says
Kinsella-esque indeed. I should know – I named my dog Moonlight Graham. I second all the sentiments said so far, but what really made this enjoyable is that it’s believable. Not the apparition of course, but how Ruth would respond to the steriods issue and the game becoming more luxury and entertainment than respect for the game itself (although I can recall a few apparitions appearing before me in my college years).
And let me add – I got a baseball fanatic to read a piece on soccer?????? That absolutely made my week. And the fact that Chas liked it was even better. Casey and I have discussed how much we enjoy your writing style. I’ve made Left Field my next stop after the clipboard. I literally learn something new about baseball every time I read it (voluntary release piece – I had no idea about the rule and can think of many times that call has been blown).