As To Be Expected!

The better half: “The Giants are in the playoffs?!?!?!”

Those six words said it all. It was Sunday morning. We had just finished grocery shopping and were sitting down to a quiet cup of caffeine when she brought me back to reality. Last she knew I expressed my confusion about whether to cheer on the G-Men versus the ‘Skins. I didn’t want to risk the possibility of them qualifying for and experiencing another ultra-embarrassing playoff defeat. I had tried to avoid the fact that the Giants were on national television that afternoon in the wild card round of the playoffs. I had tried to avoid it so much that she didn’t even know until looking at television listings in the paper. Does that tell it all? I hadn’t once mentioned the Giants all week.

After having to face my fears head on I decided that I would NOT watch the game. It was the four o’clock broadcast. I play hoops on Sunday night. I leave the house around five thirty. I can find something to distract me for ninety minutes.

Sounds good.

Then I got a case of the what-ifs?

What if…Burress actually plays to the potential of his six foot, five inch, 232 pound frame?

What if Tiki “the two-timing, double-crossing, I want to go out on my own terms, set the club rushing record in my last start, how much can we pay you to come back next year?” Barber has another performance for the ages?

What if instead of looking like a deer in the headlights, Eli looks like…like…a king of the jungle?

What if the entire defensive unit decided to tackle for an entire game?

What if? What if? What if?

All right, I guess I’ll watch. I swear if they rip my heart out again, I am never watching another Giants’ game.

Hours before kickoff I mention to the better half that just for giggles I should write the blog now and see how close I come to predicting the game. (I would have come up with the same result).

Giants get the kickoff. I am in the family room. I can’t even face the television. I am aware of what is happening in the game, but I can’t bring myself to fully get involved. Giants run seven plays, go sixty-seven yards and somehow scored a touchdown. Begs the question: is this the same team I have been watching for the last six weeks? Of course I can’t count last week due to the NFL Network blackout!?!?!?

The joy in Muddville does not last long. As I am driving to the gym, the Eagles convert a field goal to make it ten to seven. I find out later they scored on their next possession, and I can hear those punk kids in school tomorrow: “how ‘bout dem G-Men, Mr. G?”

I am in the gym and now I have gone from not wanting to watch the game to trying to find a tv. I am nuts. No luck. Nothing to be found.

After an hour or so of running baselines I head home just in time to catch the microcosm of the Giants’ season. I turn on the radio. Roughly seven minutes remain in the game. The announcer uses the phrase ‘the Giants are driving.’ I must admit my heart raced just a tad. Giants have the ball inside the Eagles ‘ thirty, and it is third down and …I think two. Of course the play clock almost runs out, and the Giants are forced to take a timeout. After the stoppage they run Tiki, and the ball is marked short of the first down. But the call is miraculously reversed in the Giants’ favor.

First down and ten at the Eagles’ twenty-three. False start.

First down and fifteen at the Eagles’ twenty-eight. False start.

First down and twenty at the Eagles’ thirty-three. (You think I’m lying…look it up). Manning completes a screen to Tiki. He runs nineteen yards…but wait there’s a FLAG on the field. Holding on the Giants.

First down and thirty at the Eagles’ forty-three.

After completing an eighteen yard pass the Giants have third down and twelve. Before they can run a play, they are again forced to take a timeout. Jiminy Crickets!!!!! Did they attend the Bob Davie school of clock management?!?!?!

Somehow the Giants score. Eli hit an open receiver?

The game is tied with a little over five minutes to play. Time for the Big Blue Wrecking Crew to step up and play some D right? Right?

Not a friggin’ chance. The Eagles on successive plays gained 11, 6, 7, 5, and 5 yards. Time for the two-minute warning with the ball on the Giant thirty-seven. Needless to say the Giants can’t take a timeout because they burned them all trying to get to the line of scrimmage on the previous drive. The Eagles milk the clock until only three ticks remain.

Dorenbos to Detmer to Akers, doesn’t sound like Tinkers to Evers to Chance, but it works just the same. Game over. Lights out. Giants season extinguished.

As a precursor to my New Year’s Suggestions part II- to the Giants: fire the players!!!!

What a week: first the Irish get blitzed in Nawlins’, the Sabres lose two out of three, Greg Paulus forgets how to dribble, and Duke loses to Virginia Tech, and now this.

I could have written this before the game began: I am not watching another Giants’ game as long as I live…or at least until next September.

5 Responses to "As To Be Expected!"

  1. jnuke31   January 9, 2007 at 9:22 pm

    Hello All. I have figured out a log on name and am on the scene people. It took a little time to get the word out but Jnuke31 is here to add a little bit of his expert advice to the board. First I would like to thank the person who sent me the email invitation (paul) and not thank the person who didn’t send me the email invitation (wuest).

    You couldn’t have been more right on your take about the Giants. How can they possibly be a playoff team? Never has a team had more chances to get in the playoffs. Chris Berman called it now or never for them since week 13 and they still get in? They win the last game of the year on the NFL Network which no one can see unless you are at a bar and walk into the playoffs.

    Everyone says that Tom Caughlin has to lose his job because the players have lost respect for him. Maybe he has lost respect for him inconsistent group of guys. But that is just how pro sports work.

    I have to run the big game is on. Don’t want to write National Championship game because I do not want to be sued by Tostitos for copy write infringement. Oh yeah I didn’t know how to spell Tostitos for a second so I looked it up at the scene and it look less that a second to find an advertisement. Being a former Communications/Advertising major I look to see it but come on how much chips can 1 person eat during a game and just because Troy Smith has a patch on her should I don’t feel the need to go grab a bag of scoops and jam on some Con Queso. Gators are up 21-7 so I need to go watch this thing.

    War Bills Superbowl in 2007…No that is not a mistake if somehow a bunch of teams decide they don’t want to play anymore and possibly widespread flu spreads in the league I think the Bills are on call for Arizona.

  2. Mike   January 10, 2007 at 3:37 pm

    Man, have there ever been worse heart-breakers than the Giants? As a fan you always feel like your team is the one who always lets its fans down, but that’s because it is you who are always the one being let down. However, everyone see’s this propensity in the Giants.
    The coach has to go. I still think there is a ton of talent on that team, there is simply no direction. Discipline is terrible, though it is exactly the reason Coughlin was brought in. If Coughlin is back, mark my words, next year will be more of the same. It’s time for new blood.

    Mike

  3. Chris Wuest   January 10, 2007 at 4:47 pm

    I would like to take credit for not telling the people that Paul wanted me to tell about the website.

    I also wanted to say that I’m not feeling to great in terms of my mental stability. Conversation between a friend and myself this weekend:

    Friend: “Hey, did you see the Duke game this weekend?”

    I’m really excited at this point because yes I did see the Duke game and I was so thrilled they lost I could barely speak…

    Me: “YES, YES, YES, wasn’t that great, the LOST to VA-TECH HA HA HA HA”

    Friend: “Yeah well I noticed you look a lot like Greg Paulus”

    That was one of the worst moments in my life.

  4. Casey   January 10, 2007 at 4:57 pm

    Come to think of it…you do bear a striking resemblance. Actually, Paulus has the same release point on his jumper as you, Wu.

  5. Greg Smith   January 10, 2007 at 7:26 pm

    Blah Blah Blah Blah
    You should try being a Bills Fan,
    Bucko.

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